Does your husband seem less-than-communicative lately, or even downright depressed? Maybe he is attacking you for every little thing he thinks you’re doing wrong? Does your wife suddenly have a full social calendar, whereas before she was a homebody? Or perhaps she is suddenly really worried about her appearance? The thought your partner could be cheating on you is a dreadful one indeed. No one wants to think someone they love could be sharing intimacy with another person, especially those who have taken vows to love one another ‘til death do us part.’
Unfortunately, affairs happen all the time. Often when couples put their relationship last—behind work, the kids, household duties—the relationship inevitably suffers. Love and Relationship experts agree on many of the telltale signs of an unfaithful partner. Most of them include erratic behavior that is different than what is normal for them. Small and large signs can point to the fact they’re having an affair. It’s important to keep in mind that not every change in a person’s habit indicates betrayal—one or two alterations in their routines, habits or appearance may just mean they are growing as a human, which is usually a positive thing! Perhaps your loved one is having a midlife crisis and simply wants to make some changes… it doesn’t always mean something is wrong.
But when the signs add up, you have to trust your gut. If you’re reading this article or Googling phrases like, ‘top signs your partner is cheating,’ you probably suspect something is going on. You know your partner and your relationship best, and intuition is key to helping you decide whether to confront him or her. If your love is displaying more than one of the following signs, it could be time to have a talk. While there are seemingly endless cheating signs, some of the more common ones follow.
Not being emotionally present. While your husband is physically there with you, he’s not really there. He’s off in his own world, acting distant or evasive. Your conversations are mostly one-sided and he doesn’t appear to be listening to you. When your partner shows a lack of interest in your life or ideas, or develops an unexplained aloofness that wasn’t there before, it could signal his interests lie elsewhere. Sometimes the spouse or partner seems forgetful or distracted, or that they simply don’t care. This can even affect how he or she cares for your children.
Not being physically present is also obviously in this same category. For example, you find your wife is constantly finding excuses to leave the house. Or, perhaps she wants you to go out more often. She encourages you to take business trips, travel with the guys, or do errands that take you out of the house for longer periods. Maybe she claims she needs a trip alone to de-stress and rejuvenate, or perhaps she starts working late—all the time. It may be that her social calendar starts filling up, which is odd, because she is usually an introvert. Now, suddenly, she seems to have new friends and is going out more often.
Your partner suddenly shows an increased desire for sex – OR the opposite, is suddenly too tired or never in the mood. In long-term relationships there are always peaks and valleys when it comes to sex. This is completely normal. But if you notice your partner is suddenly wanting more than ever, or the opposite—none at all—and it is coupled with some of the other signs of cheating, then this could signal problems. If you notice she has purchased sexy lingerie, but she’s never worn it with you… Some signs are subtle and some are more overt.
Being overly nice—or constantly finding fault with you. Your husband who never, ever cooks is suddenly making romantic dinners for you? Buying you gifts? Sometimes affairs can actually seem to improve the relationship, or it could be that he is trying to make it up to you subconsciously. He may feel very guilty and is trying to overcompensate. But more often the opposite is true, and the adulterer begins constantly finding fault with you. Perhaps he even accuses you of cheating. A cheater thinks, ‘If I can do it and get away with it, maybe my partner is too.’ A classic move is to attack you in order to try to make you doubt yourself. If they become more critical or even mean, that is a classic sign.
A noticeable improvement in their appearance. Suddenly your husband starts wearing a new cologne (or starts wearing cologne when he never used to.) He starts working out whereas he used to consider people vain and vapid who were overly fit. You realize your wife likes to shop, but she suddenly seems to have an entirely new wardrobe. Losing weight, new clothes—just an overall heightened attention to their appearance—can often signal an affair.
And the most important sign that your partner could be cheating:
You just know something is wrong: You don't know how you know. You don't know what you know or even why you know. But you do know something is off. This is when you need to trust your gut. Only you truly know your partner and what is normal or usual for him or her. If you witness some of these signs and your gut is screaming at you that something is wrong, then it probably is. True intuition never lies, nor does it have an agenda. Intuition wants the best for you in your life. You should want that for yourself as well, and have the difficult conversation. Do not minimize that feeling OR let them make you feel crazy.
It is important to note that even if your loved one displays ALL of the above behaviors, it doesn’t guarantee he or she is having an affair. Some people are very good at hiding affairs and could even display NONE of the above-mentioned. This is why number five is the most important clue. If you feel like you are bad at hearing your own intuition (or listening to what you do hear), you can talk to one of our Relationship Experts to find out what they would advise. You might also like an Astrology Reading to see how compatible you are with your partner.